


Amazing Rap Skirmishes of Fiction: Futaba Sakura vs. Elliot Alderson

by wordwarrior (regachoisiah)



Category: Epic Rap Battles of History (Web Series), Mr. Robot (TV), Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hackers, Alternate Universe - Music, Crossover, Epic Battles, Fight Club References, Inspired by Music, Mind Palace, Music, Palaces (Persona 5), Persona 5 Protagonist & Sakura Futaba Are Siblings, Persona 5 Spoilers, Rap Battles, Rap Music, The Matrix References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 02:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29236218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regachoisiah/pseuds/wordwarrior
Summary: It's the lovable redheaded autistic hacker from Persona 5 versus the antisocial, mentally ill hacker who started a revolution. And now...they're facing off to prove who is the better MC...
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Niijima Makoto, Darlene Alderson & Elliot Alderson, Edward Alderson & Elliot Alderson, Kurusu Akira/Niijima Makoto, Kurusu Akira/Sakura Futaba, Niijima Makoto/Persona 5 Protagonist, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakura Futaba, mentioned only
Collections: Amazing Rap Skirmishes of Fiction





	Amazing Rap Skirmishes of Fiction: Futaba Sakura vs. Elliot Alderson

## AMAZING RAP SKIRMISHES OF FICTION! 

## FUTABA SAKURA

## 

## VERSUS

## ELLIOT ALDERSON

## 

## BEGIN!

* * *

[(In case you want a beat while you read this, I was listening to this while writing the lyrics out)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vh3tsS4G7dM&ab_channel=shu)

**Futaba Sakura**

If you're gonna run, Elliot, now's your chance

You don't want to take this navigator on in this rap dance

Just like your organization, you should go F yourself

You messed up now bitch, battling me isn't good for your mental health

I'm Futaba, the fandom darling, people say that I'm charming

When it comes to best girl polls, my fans always win the quarreling 

I'm universally loved, you're an overrated hack 

Whose entire character arc is that of a generic amnesiac 

I'm cute, Rami's bland; I'm witty, your brain is jammed

And don't forget, Mr. Robot is just Fight Club but off-brand 

I guess it's your turn now, don't "shut down" now you wimp

But you should be afraid, you don't want to anger my simps

**Elliot Alderson**

A bug is never just a mistake, it represents something bigger 

But Futaba is absolutely a mistake, now she's crossed a killer

You're an overrated, bland, obvious example of waifu bait

And the only reason you exist is to give the players someone to date

You ripped off Inkling Girl, you're sexualized at 15 in your Oracle suit, 

And you send a bad message, that mental illness is somehow cute 

I don't care if you lost your mom, tragedy doesn't make you interesting

And your big brother complex, that shit is incredibly sickening

**Futaba Sakura**

Mr. Robot season two was the only one worth watching

Because you were in a useless subplot, while the side characters did the plotting

And by the way Elliot, before you mention siblings again

You kissed your sister Darlene, where's your defense

**Elliot Alderson**

That only happened once, and I had an excuse for that

Unlike you living in literal trash, when's the last time you took a bath

And before you talk about plots, at least my story keeps people drawn

Persona 5 is a convoluted mess that leaves players wanting to yawn

**Futaba Sakura**

My game is a convoluted mess? The pot's calling the kettle black! 

At least I have awesome gameplay, your show is a crazy man having a panic attack

**Elliot Alderson**

My "panic attacks" got us Golden Globes, Peabodies, and Emmys 

While your "anxiety" just made all the horny incels get all sweaty

**Futaba Sakura**

Going back to sexualization, you already covered that point 

I know why you're obsessed with sex, your insecurities I can pinpoint

Now this might be going too far, but I'm through being gentle

But you take "son's love for their dad" to a whole other level 

**Elliot Alderson**

That's a low blow. If we're going there, let me turn up the dial

Your own game thinks you're evil just because you're suicidal

By the way, "Pyramid of Wrath", your game writers are fucking morons

Your sin is obviously sloth since you're a loser who's always withdrawn

Just because we're both hackers, you're nowhere near my greatness

I'm a symbol for freedom while you're just a knock-off of "The Matrix"

You're so one-dimensional, it's like you were written by Kishimoto

And even if you're best girl, the canon love interest is still Makoto 

* * *

## WHO WON? YOU DECIDE!

## AMAZING RAP SKIRMISHES OF FICTION!

**Author's Note:**

> AN1: Elliot's jab at Futaba's apparent "brother complex" is a reference to how some people feel that Futaba is more of a little sister figure, despite being a romance option.
> 
> AN2: The "son's love for their dad" line...I know, I know. I want to make it clear, I don't condone sexual violence, nor do I appreciate it when people joke about that type of stuff. That said, since this is a battle rap, you have to go in hard and ruthless with the lyrics. Besides, the actual ERB series have their own fair share of heartless lines (like mocking Steve Irwin's death and Christopher Reeve being paralyzed).


End file.
